Just empty...

Just empty…

I feel as if my faith is regressing after the month of Ramadan. The worst feeling is to feel as if you are slipping in a dark hole and no one can help you except your realization of this regression and Allah(swt). A believer always goes through these cycles of highs and lows, Eman (faith) is dynamic, its either increasing or decreasing. But what about those people who are always increasing in their faith. Do they really exist? Or does everyone go through these cycles, periods of being distant from our Rabb. Indeed, in these intense periods one realizes that nothing can fill the void except remembrance of God.
In reality, those people do exist and they’ve spent their lifetime polishing the hearts, they are in a state of fitrah and constant dhikr. People when you look at their faces, you remember God, you see signs of long prostrations and night vigils. The noor (light) emanates and you want to share it just for a moment but the light doesn’t reach you because of your sins. You feel helpless and plead to your Rabb that if you can feel that noor for a just an instant but your soul has wronged you. Your heart is full of riya, takabur, wantonness, anger, hate, rancor, iniquity, vanity, negative thoughts, heedlessness… how then can the light touch you? how then can u taste the sweetness of Eman (faith)? How then can you progress?

All the limbs have significant traits, and the trait of heart is that it is always in Love with someone or something. In order to taste the sweetness of Eman, one has to empty the heart and overwhelm it with the Love of Allah (Isqh-e-haqqiqi: True Love)…

May Allah(swt) burn the flame of love in all our hearts and guide us on the path of remembrance and reflection leading to HIS proximity. ameen

a lost soul,
ayesha zafar